The Road

After the loss of our Nayan in 2010, I decided that if there was any way to spare others from the same heartache, I would find it and pursue it. That decision set me on a path of understanding the crucial choices every driver faces — choices that can keep themselves and others safe on the road.

Driving isn’t just about handling a vehicle or passing a test. It’s about the decisions made every time someone gets behind the wheel. These decisions can mean the difference between life and death.

Each year, New Zealand sees hundreds of lives lost on the roads — lives that leave behind families and communities shattered by grief. I’m writing this on 219th day of this year and so far 193 people have died on the road. The social, emotional, and economic cost of each loss is enormous, and the fallout can be felt for generations.

Anger, sadness, and a profound sense of loss will weigh heavily on those who lose someone they love. These feelings last for years and healing from such tragedy takes time — sometimes a lifetime.

When I lost my son, much was said about the choice the driver made and the choices I made. For me holding onto anger and hatred only deepened the grief, trapping me in darkness. Choosing to let go, to find compassion, to forgive the driver and to strive to make the world safer, these choices, helped me step slowly back into the light.

It has been more than fifteen years since we lost him, and while the pain still surfaces, I have found peace. I miss my boy terribly, but I am not broken. I am filled with hope, dreams, and gratitude for the life I still have. This journey taught me that while we can’t control every outcome, we can choose how we respond.

I don’t presume to tell others how to grieve or what choices to make — those are deeply personal. But for me, moving forward with compassion was the best decision for myself and those around me.

Now, my commitment is to make a positive difference in our communities, to help those who find themselves in those dark places to rise once more. This along with education that shifts behaviours and attitudes before tragedy strikes, is the mission of We Rise Together. If we can inspire even one person rise from adversity or to make better choices that save a life, the impact will be immeasurable.

I used to say that “I believe in the power of education to transform lives”. This is true but I belive more than that now. I believe that not only can education transform a life — it can save a life.

Reaching young people before they make a poor decision, helping them appreciate the responsibility and power of their choices early on may change the future for the better. Stopping the tragedies, preventing the fall and saving us from the need to RISE.

To learn more about my journey, you can purchase the first two chapters of my memoir at the link below.